It took me a while to realize,"what the f***!". its been almost two months and i haven't had any work. my savings depleted due to the typhoon which flooded out house and destroyed most of our stuff. i had to contribute since both my parents are not here and are in overseas. i applied online for work, because im worrying that my saving wouldn't be able to hold much longer and ,my personal goal of saving this 'certain' amount for the will be ruined. And there told my girlfriend about it and she offered me a business. it was nice that she offered me somethng that would help me, but then again this was the business we both fought about and she made a drama about it. at first i really didn't mind the fact that we fought about it due to her "drama" in the past, so i considered the offer. after a while of talking, she then said "tatawa-tawa ka noon babalik ka din pala", and there it hit me that because of that consideration i made with her offer, she was able to tell others that "he came back to me after all that he blah blah blah slander slander slander". and that relates back then in th e past when we fought about it.

about that drama of hers, back then i invested in that business of buying and selling that i thought would gain somethng from, after sometime, she blew me off(some relationship i have), she said that it was because her dad was sick and that she needs the business all to herself so that she could save ,and not bother her parents with money so that her dad would be medicated and cured. so i understood. but then again, her family is not poor, and pretty much well compensated, her dad works overseas for God's sake. and as that realization deepens, the fact then sufaced...she just wants the earnings jst to herself. i don't know if she realized that she slipped when she said "why should you share, if you could do it  yourself and get all the earnings...". i knew there's a selfish motive within that drama of hers. i was angry that time but then again it wasn't worth fighting with a hard headed and "will-do-and-say anything just to make myself look like a victim" kind of person(wow that was a mouthful).

so back to the present offer, when she said that she wanted to propose something, i thought about it. i then gave it another try(way to go dude...di ka na nadala). but then i was vigilant this time. and as i thought that the motive isn't there, it showed again. but not in a selfish form but in a form wherein it would make me look like i begged because was helpless. i dipped my toes almost got trapped like a fly got stuck in a web, but then got out. thank God that i realized it before investing and getting short handed again in the end. so for her and that, "please, dont flatter yourself by manipulating situatons and using other peoples down situations to make yourself look goody". so now i'd rather do business on my own or partnering with people who are not driven due to their selfish, insecure,and evious nature. with all these and summing it up leaves me a question:"is this relationship still worth it?". i asked myself this question every time we have an argeument and she brings out the "past situation manipulation-defense". but since i consider giving 2nd consideration to some things,with the raltionship i still hope for the better and hope for her to atleast consider my feelings and point of view and not hide behind morality and gender/gender issues during difficult situations.      

Someoe posed a funny story regarding some person who claimed that his laptop was stolen by someone who has balls of steel...here it goes:

This Laptop Thief Has Balls Of Steel

According to a police report, 19-year old Jesse Phoutthaphaphone...pppppthft was sitting by a cracked window in his home, typing on MySpace when a thief suddenly popped in the window and stole the laptop right out of his hands.

"I was typing and all of the sudden just woosh! I was like oh, what the hell?" Phoutthaphaphone said.

"This is clearly a real desperate act, I mean he (the suspect) stole the computer out of his hands while he's in his house," Minneapolis Police Sgt. Jesse Garcia explained.

"He was probably just creeping right here, I was typing, and then all of the sudden he just yanked it," the victim remarked. He only saw the suspect's hands; then saw his back as he ran around the corner of his home.

Pppppppthfaftpatphthftyaphone chased after the suspect, eventually cornering him in a nearby garage. The homeowner saw the commotion and jumped in to help—eventually they were both able to pin down the thief until the police arrived. Naturally, he incident described as both "bold and bizarre" has left authorities baffled.

WhATdehFek?who would even do that...hahahahaha...yeap the story is bazzare and bold...bwahahahaha

writing about things that i constantly ask myself (but spurts out in random timing) might be able to help me coup things up for myself. i dont know how to start but i really have to get this out of my chest...issues that makes me question quite alot.especially my relationship right now..im having a hard time with asking her whats bothering her...making me figure it out myself...i didnt do anything to her but her burst of thngs are somehow unbecoming and irretating to the point im getting all too impatient already...especially when i ask her and make 'lambing' to her just to ease whatever she's feeling, but what she does is render it useless and make me feel bad...we broke up and we got back...she wants to start in a blank slate she said but hten again she priors to pull things back from the past and fabricate things like as if i have forgotten the real situation. and with taht she just complicates the sitation even worse... its just confusing and very irritating... things like that could be simplified if only she only had been ore considerate and not so one sided...  

"in my opinion..its not with the institution but with how you were educated at home and how your breeding turns out to be...so i hope this would give you tinge of clarity..."

this is what i was thinking while overhearing how "this oh holy people" talk about our institution and washing their hands just because they're a catholic school. though PSB is an institution that i synchronously hate and love, it is still my pride that get hurts when these "oh so holy people" dis about my school. they bombard it with judgments such as girls there are sluts since they begin losing their virginity at 3rd year...exaggerated.i will admit that there are soe but to say ALL is something that bitch shouldn't have said...i mean yeah right like as if  their so clean.as far as i know majority of these students as well are using the church as kissing ground and using the group so YFC as the meeting place of "ooh love ones",i may not refer to the general like how they would think about our institution, but they themselves are no saint. bitch asses...so as for me you shouldn't talk like as if you were so clean and holy the only thing. i have friends who had studied to that slanderous institute and i would exclude them.at least there are still some who are still neutral...who are out of the circle of superiority complexes. they think they are above the social just because they are "multinational"(if that's correct) or multicultural. so as an ending line...what i said on top in the quotation marks...

"whew..thank GOD i vented"